and supported by the BMKÖS and Phileas Vienna
In my garden, disaster is imminent when darkness casts outlines on the Deadly Nightshade fruits. Their shape and color remind me of the rot I fear. Bitter and cruel taste leaves a memory that remains when I imagine garden. Here, the fear of uncertain darkness persists. I attempt to relive this experience through detailed drawings. This repetition helps me engage with my instinctive thinking, and this drawing process has become my obsession. I don’t want to capture a traumatic experience; rather, this work is an integral part of retelling historical oppression and pain, embodying the idea of existence afterward.
In the large-format drawings, I leave plenty of empty space to explore the moment before death and contemplate how we can remain productive despite our physical existence. A fraction of a second transforms into a visual image, offering an insight into how we ponder our place in the garden of catastrophy and become a meaningful part of it. The earth, our friend, remembers without judgment, storing our bodies within her guts. After us, our bodies generate a delicious humus that nourishes fellow insects. Our corporeality provides new nutrition for our friends ladybugs, bees, and flies. They use these tools of knowledge to construct new spaces of kinship.
A Moment Before You Die
170x100cm, pencil on paper, Vienna 2023
Becoming An Insect
170x100cm, pencil on paper, Vienna 2023
In The Garden Of Catastrophy
170x100cm, pencil on paper, Vienna 2023
Deadly Nightshade
170x100cm, pencil on paper, Vienna 2023
Small Studies, 50x40cm, Vienna 2024